Well, it is a priviledge indeed that I am gonna lead this bunch of fun wachos. At the same time, I am really really afraid that I'll screw up somewhere and lead them to the wrong way. Well, as I think many will notice la (especially my CG mates), I am not really good in teaching. I don't illustrate points well and I don't exactly have an organized mind. I'll go lost for words at times....
I remember when I started CG in Pre-U, I told Grace that one of my goals was to serve in Pre-U and perhaps to serve by leading others. I was so so so confident that time... and when I was given the opprutunity last year, I turned it down. Why? Because I had to choose between my dancing ministry (whcih I have been in for about 7 years already) and leadership in my CG. I did wonder how come I didn't take up the leadership earlier and stick to dancing still... Perhaps, I feel it is not my time yet? I can't really remember.
The funny thing was when I became assistent, I never knew that I was gonna take over the CG one day. I thought that I would just be assisting. I thought it wouldn't be official, you know. As things started progressing in CG, I realize that I am doing more than just assisting. So, I was quite confused, at first. Then only, I got to know that she was training me up to be a leader. Hehehe I thought I was only helping her out *slap on the head* So, that was how I got into the ministry =P
I thought it would be some sort easy for me. Boy, I was wrong. I was afraid too that if I am at the "frontline", I would be quite proudful.. ya know what I mean. But my friend proved me wrong... it'll more often make you humble & small (something like dat). As I had to lead CG from time to time.. He was actually right!!! I felt and still feel small & inadequate. And the great thing is, because of that, I have to hung and will continue to hang unto God's adequacy. I keep looking unto my Father in Heaven for help and for guidance. That is what God wants! To put Him in the centre of it... not leading the others by my own strength but by His and be blessed by His wisdom. Not only that, I believe that I will gain confidence through Him.
But wait... am i leading leading them or facilitating them? I would much prefer to do the facilitating (it seems so much easier =P), but I guess when you are the leader, people look up to ya and automatically, in someways, you carry this responsibility of leading them because they observe the way you live your life & perhaps if I am some sort of a role model, they would want to follow the things I do. I guess it's more about guiding them towards our Father... and together discovering what is He wants us to do in life.
I thought it would be some sort easy for me. Boy, I was wrong. I was afraid too that if I am at the "frontline", I would be quite proudful.. ya know what I mean. But my friend proved me wrong... it'll more often make you humble & small (something like dat). As I had to lead CG from time to time.. He was actually right!!! I felt and still feel small & inadequate. And the great thing is, because of that, I have to hung and will continue to hang unto God's adequacy. I keep looking unto my Father in Heaven for help and for guidance. That is what God wants! To put Him in the centre of it... not leading the others by my own strength but by His and be blessed by His wisdom. Not only that, I believe that I will gain confidence through Him.
But wait... am i leading leading them or facilitating them? I would much prefer to do the facilitating (it seems so much easier =P), but I guess when you are the leader, people look up to ya and automatically, in someways, you carry this responsibility of leading them because they observe the way you live your life & perhaps if I am some sort of a role model, they would want to follow the things I do. I guess it's more about guiding them towards our Father... and together discovering what is He wants us to do in life.
